‘You're holding me back’: Girl Breaks up With Boyfriend After He Says She Can’t Go to College and Demands She Refrains From the ‘College Experience’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 22, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

When 18-year-old kids finally graduate high school and are heading to college, they might hear and have many conversations regarding the 'college experience'. They talk about it with their parents, friends, and siblings, and in these conversations, the people who have had the college experience might tell them that they should go to college with an open mind and usually, with no strings attaching them home.

While I don't think you have to be single in order to enjoy college, going away to college can bring a lot of challenges to high school couples who try to stay together through those years. I believe that only couples who wholeheartedly respect and trust each other can really survive the college experience.

That is not the case with the couple in this Reddit story, as it seems like OP's (original poster) boyfriend is trying to get her not to go to college at all. Whether it is because he doesn't trust her, or because he wants to control her as much as he can, she is not having any of it and ends up breaking up with him because of his inability to support her.

Scroll down to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a story of a woman who discovers her boyfriend is actually still married to his former partner.

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  • 01
    AITAH for ending things with my bf who has never wanted me to go to college?
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 02
    Am I the for cutting off communication with my boyfriend, who claims he won't date a girl who attends in-person classes on campus? He says it would be completely reasonable and even
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 03
    more logical for me to just do online school. I explained that math is not my strongest subject, and I would excel more adequately in an in-person learning environment. I've given this a lot of thought and consideration, understanding the
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 04
    gravity and potential impact it could have on our relationship. I'm not even set on doing all of my math classes in person, but his emphasis on his dislike of women who attend in-person classes was off-putting.
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 05
    He said he's allowed to have that preference in a relationship, but then gave his brother the benefit of the doubt and agreed that his ex- girlfriend was wrong for leaving him to go to college. I don't
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 06
    understand how those situations are any different. He used an analogy with d, claiming I'd be like him not wanting me to do - but the two life choices aren't remotely comparable. One is
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 07
    bettering my life, while the other is detrimental with no positive outcome. I've stayed with him through situations that would have been dealbreakers for most people. It seems insecure and unreasonable
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 08
    to give someone an ultimatum like that. He's heard "college stories" but his perspective on college isn't everyone's experience or path. This just makes me feel like he isn't fully supportive of me and my goals.
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 09
    Also, For context, I'm not dorming and I plan to just go a couple hours out of the week. I'm 21, almost 22, and I don't have an interest in partying... I simply just want to better my life and get an education.
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 10
    mtngrl60 - 23 hr. ago This man is trying to isolate you and control you. There is literally no reason you can't go to college in person other than he's insecure or some sort of fundamentalist religion person.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 11
    And either one of those are breakers. If he's insecure, he needs to figure his out and not try to make you his emotional support animal by having you around 24 seven.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 12
    Break up with his because you can do so, so much better. I don't know why you would've stayed with somebody like this through all of the other things you were saying you went through.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 13
    Selfish. He's insecure. He's controlling. He's minimizing what you want and need. He doesn't respect you. I don't know if you need me to keep going, but I can.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 14
    Bottom line is he's a bottom feeder. My hope is that you would rather be up in the sunshine versus held down underwater with just your nose sticking out. Because that's where he wants you.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 15
    Break up. Your courses. What you want. You are far, far too young for this nonsense. And believe me, if you stay with him, this I will only get worse.
    via u/mtngrl60
  • 16
    • PrideofCapetown · 16 hr. ago Agreed. And she'd better to it fast before he gets a sense she's trying to leave, and baby traps her. I'm curious what the age difference is between these two because he sounds like yet another one of those manipulative large-age-gap
    via u/PrideofCapetown
  • 17
    Immediate-Site-3188 OP. 14 hr. ago I'll be 22 in September, and he'll be 24 in a month or so. The age gap isn't anything too crazy.
    via u/Immediate-Site-3188
  • 18
    StepbroItHurts · 23 hr. ago Sounds like he wants you to be a good little pet and do as you're told.
    via u/StepbroItHurts
  • 19
    Adorable-Reaction887 22 hr. ago Absolutely. Like whats next, only working from home, if at all? Cos co- worker parties and events imo and have experienced are just as wild. I wouldn't risk my future education or potential to do well in a subject for a boyfriend.
    via u/Adorable-Reaction887
  • 20
    rosehillcats 1 day ago NTA sounds like he doesn't want you to better yourself. Get a better job and grow up. OFTEN at your age, you out grow a relationship. You find you want different things. Like he wants to rent and just coast. While you want
    via u/rosehillcats
  • 21
    to be a home owner and have kids by age 30 for example. Without knowing him in person, he seems very insecure.... and thinks you will get into the college party life. Doesn't he trust you?
    via u/rosehillcats
  • 22
    jbarneswilson · 21 hr. ago NTA stop wasting your life on a guy who is hellbent on holding you back. you're young, your whole life is ahead of you, go live it!
    via u/jbarneswilson

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